Q&A: Steve McKenzie
6 October 2023
Today’s Q&A has a different focus, being more topic-driven and coinciding with World Mental Health Day on Tuesday, 10 October. Steve McKenzie is Group Sales Manager with The Hire Supply Company and is well-known to many throughout this industry. However, he has faced his own mental health issues, triggered by the Covid lockdowns, and he wants his story to reassure others that they need not suffer alone and that help is available.
Firstly, we’ve actually talked about mental health before, haven’t we?
Yes, I discussed my experiences with you anonymously for the blog in May 2022 so that others could take heart from my story.
Remind us briefly what happened.
I think it was triggered by the experience of being furloughed from March 2020 at the start of the pandemic. At first it was something of a novelty being sat at home, but I hadn’t realised how much of my personality comes from having contact with others through work. I gradually lost confidence with people outside my family. I’ve been involved in the hire industry in some way since back in 2 March 1989 and to me the people are the most important part of every organisation.
Had you experienced mental health issues before?
In 2003, when I was MD at another business, an outside consultant was brought in to evaluate and motivate staff. I think he came from the stick-and-carrot school but dispensed with the carrot, throwing verbal hand grenades around. I had a bit of a wobble then and was on medication briefly.
When did you realise there was a problem this time?
Not immediately. Like many people, I returned from furlough in stages, doing more days per week from September to November 2020. It was in November that I felt I wasn’t myself. I got lower and lower and was increasingly difficult to live with at home, becoming more isolated and uncommunicative. At first you just put it down to a bad day or week, but it became more frequent. I was the happy, jokey Steve McKenzie at work but quite different at home. It was my way of coping. And sometimes I found myself looking for the answer at the bottom of a glass, but you’ll never find it there.
Did it affect your work?
No. I just carried on as before. But away from work, I felt I’d lost my place in the world. However, one day I was visiting a hirer who I normally enjoy great banter with and he asked me if anything was wrong because I wasn’t giving back as good as I was getting, like I normally would. Looking back, he was very perceptive.
Was there a low point?
August 2021 at home. My wife and daughters were laughing and chatting downstairs while I was closeted away in the bedroom I used as an office and I just wondered if they would be better off without me. I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts, but I realised something was wrong. I told my wife and she said it was clear I wasn’t my normal self and encouraged me to visit the doctors and seek help. I must say, my family have been amazing throughout this whole situation, and I count myself very lucky to have their love and support. I told the Directors of HSC about my situation, and they have also been very supportive throughout. I made it clear to them that in no way did this affect my ability to do my job and manage my team.
How did you seek help? Was it difficult?
I contacted my GP’s surgery. This was during the pandemic, of course, and the surgery said I could have an in-person appointment or do an initial online assessment, which is what I did. Within two hours the doctor rang me and asked me to come in the next day. I did and all my feelings poured out in no logical order and I got very emotional. He was very supportive and compassionate.
What help did you get?
From the questionnaire and my discussion with him, the doctor diagnosed moderate depression and put me on a low dose of medication initially, to see how I coped with it. I felt a real sense of relief reaching out and asking for support and help as it felt like a weight had been lifted off me. I would urge anyone who thinks they might have mental health issues to seek help earlier than I did. After a couple of weeks, the dose of my medication was increased as I had no adverse reactions to the lower dose.
In November 2021, I had a backward step and experienced mood swings. The doctor again increased the dose of the medication (Citalopram) that I was taking and after a month or so my mood started to stabilise again. Back in February of this year, once again I started to feel like my mood was deteriorating, and I arranged another consultation with my GP’s surgery. This time I saw a different doctor within the practice who has a particular interest in mental health issues. She listened to my situation and suggested a different medication called Sertraline and an online course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), as she thought it would fit in better around my work/life balance. I’ll be on medication for the foreseeable future.
How did the CBT help?
Early on in the process, I had been offered a course in CBT in a group setting of 14 people with two therapists present. Being totally honest, I did not want to pour out my innermost feelings in front of a room full of strangers. I had a telephone assessment from a locally based Talking Therapies organisation, which was recommended by my GP. After a few weeks, they contacted me and started the process using an app called SilverCloud.
It is an interactive suite, with advice from health professionals on managing depression, anxiety and maintaining a healthy work/life balance [as always, anyone should seek their doctor’s advice before undertaking any medical programmes]. The course lasted six weeks, and every Tuesday, a therapist who had access to my input would contact me through the app and make recommendations, personalising the content, if required. The program has given me ideas about how to see my mood changing and ways to cope and help put things in perspective that I would have previously overreacted to.
How do you feel now?
Much more positive. Going through this has taught me a lot about myself and those around me. It is not weakness to admit you have a problem, quite the opposite! My family and colleagues have noticed that I am much more my old self, although there are still occasions when I have to proactively try not to let situations get me down.
You’ve spoken to others about your experiences, too.
In February 2022 I heard about Asif Latief’s [then MD of Boels Rental UK and an HAE Board Member] initiative United for Mental Strength for highlighting mental health awareness. I spoke about my experiences at one of the early meetings in Stoke. I felt very nervous but I think it struck a chord with others.
What has your experience shown you?
I realise that my story is just the tip of an iceberg. I feel that if anyone in the hire industry who knows me hears my story, it might help them.
What advice would you give to others who might feel they need support?
Reach out to someone: a family member, a friend, a colleague, your GP. When I first visited my doctor, he said that I was the twentieth person in two weeks that he had seen to discuss mental health. Covid and the lockdowns have really had an impact.
How might employers or companies help?
They should be open, non-judgemental and prepared to listen. The chances are that many people are facing difficulties, so employers and colleagues should be watchful. Has someone’s mood changed? If they used to be the life and soul of the party, are they now behaving differently? Sometimes, the most upbeat people around you could be the ones who are suffering the most. I tended to use humour to divert attention from the way I was really feeling.
I suppose it’s about being there for others?
Yes. There can be no one-size-fits-all solution but by being open and supportive you can help those around you. Please do not suffer in silence; I carried on way too long without asking for help, thinking it would be weakness to admit I had a problem and in doing so, slowed down my recovery. If anyone who reads this is really struggling, please do not hesitate to drop me a line on steve@hscgroupuk.co.uk, and I will be happy to share my experiences and signpost ways to get help.
● Helpful mental health resources can be found at websites such as the charities MIND and Ian’s Chain.
And Steve is happy to talk in confidence on 07816 522956.
