Ask: “Are you OK really?”
3 August 2021
Raising mental health awareness is one of the biggest workplace challenges. However, Darren Barden is using his dramatic and, quite honestly, shocking story to inspire others in tool hire and plant hire to address it.
Darren, pictured above, now works as a tool hire account manager for Hilti. But 25 years ago he was the innocent victim of a near-fatal assault in a case of mistaken identity.
In a violent night-time attack at his home in Essex, he was stabbed repeatedly by two professional hitmen in front of his wife and one-year old son, and left for dead.
Miraculously Darren pulled through but the experience had long-lasting effects.
“I gradually recovered but I had a wife and young family to support,” Darren tells me. “I’d been working as a van driver and, ironically, was due to start a new job the day after the attack. But I was unable to work for months.
“Eventually I got another job but I buried all the events in the background. It was only around 13 years later that I developed PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).”
Darren’s subconscious was forcing him to deal with the feelings he had suppressed. He fell into depression and had suicidal thoughts.
“However, the outside world didn’t know. I was always the clown at training sessions, the first at the bar and the last to leave. I kept changing jobs, blaming other people, chasing more money and didn’t really know what I wanted to do. But basically I was seeking some sort of acknowledgement and help.”
Fortunately Darren sought and received medical assistance from his doctor and then a psychiatrist, which put him on the road to recovery.
Also, six years ago Darren joined Hilti, initially in construction sales. He says that he suddenly felt “at home” because it provided stability and a sense of purpose after drifting between different jobs.
“I immediately felt valued as a person and as an individual. And there was a genuine focus on achieving a good work/life balance which I had never encountered before.”
Darren also attended a writing seminar and produced what became a best-selling book about his experiences to help others, called ‘Let’s Skip to the Good Bits’ published three years ago.
With Hilti’s approval and full support, Darren regularly talks at industry events and in workplaces, alongside his sales role, to tell his story and to raise mental health awareness.
He also works with anti-knife campaigns and various charities.
“People have since told me that hearing my story or reading the book encouraged them to seek help. In some cases, I know it has saved lives.
“I want to reach out to tool hirers and equipment hirers. Whenever I speak, I notice a response – mainly in men of a certain age, but in others too – who identify with my story.
“They suffer in silence, perhaps affected by things going on around them in their personal lives, not telling anyone. In fact, suicide is the biggest cause of death among men under 45.
“My story shows people that you can come through to the other end, whatever life throws at you. And the greatest benefit is not just that you’ve survived, but that you can also then go on to help others.”
Darren, who is currently filming for a new YouTube channel called ‘In the Barber’s Chair’ where people can inspire others with their own mental health stories, makes the point that approximately one in four of us each year will face mental health issues.
“This means that the other three have to look out for them. Their own lives might be hunky-dory, but maybe one of their workmates isn’t themselves, turning down the regular Friday night drink or not participating in things as usual.
“So if you are among the 1 in 3, ask your colleagues ‘Are you all right?’ And if they just say they’re ‘fine’ or ‘OK’, ask them again, and maybe even once more to make really sure.
“And if you are struggling yourself, reach out for help. This industry is all about people and that’s what can save lives.”
● Mental health advice and support can be found at websites such as the charities MIND and Ian’s Chain.
